Monday, 8 July 2013

10 things you need to do/know when you are going for an exchange program in another country.


1


        Check and recheck and triple check the background of the organization that will send you there. What I mean by check is not simply Googling about the organization or reading the brochures, what I meant by triple check is try to get in contact with people who had been on the same exchange like what you are going to do. Ask them about EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING. Talk to them, make them tell you the advantages as well as disadvantages of the organization, let them tell you about the problems that they had encountered. Most importantly, ask them about the capability of the organization of the HOST country. Even if the organization is excellent and well known in YOUR country it doesn’t mean it is good in the HOST country. So, you need to contact anybody who went to an exchange in the same country as the one that you will be going. And ask the person for more information not only about the culture of the country, but also about how well does the organization of the HOST country work.  It is important to ensure that you will be taken care by the organization in the HOST country. Don’t be surprised if sometimes they can give you trouble with your visa, your salary and other things.





2)      When you are doing exchange program, especially when it comes to working and not studying, try not to stay in one place for more than 6 months. Why? Because it is better for you to try something different, live in different cities, because for a country as big as Brazil, the differences between the states are huge. I lived in the South of Brazil, which is totally different than `the Brazil’ that you see in television. People here are mostly Europeans decedents; German, Italian, Polish etc. They are mostly white people. So, where are people like Neymar? Ronaldo? They are mostly up there, North-East of Brazil, which is like super far from the South of Brazil. I mean super super far.  From South of Brazil, it is way cheaper to travel to other countries, example Chile, Argentina, Uruguay etc. compared to travel to South East of Brazil.
So, there are some advantages and disadvantages of living in the same place for more than 6months, which is what I did. The advantages are, you become really close to the people, I mean really close, I love my host family, I can talk about anything with my host parents, I love my boss, and the place where I work. I love my students, and the people in Maravilha (the small town that I lived .You will get so attached with them, and the relationship become more than ‘just an internship experience relationship’ they actually become a part of your life. Moreover, you become comfortable with your daily routine, and at the end of the day, you really feel as if you are one of them. You don’t feel like a foreigner, instead that place actually became your home. You blended in. And for working experience, it’s good, because you will learn more when you stay in the same workplace for more than 6 months, you can see your improvement, or you have time to become better and to learn more.
Disadvantages? Well, you have the disadvantages of knowing less people and less culture. And I love to live in varieties of cultures. For example, I went to Rio de Janeiro for a week, and I went to a tour inside the biggest slum in Rio de Janeiro, and I fell in love with the place. I fell in love with the city. And to my surprised, they offered a voluntary work to work with children inside the slum, and I can actually live inside the slum. I was dying to join the voluntary work, but I can`t. And I am dying to know the culture from North-East Brazil, because the cultures are totally different than what we have in the South of Brazil.





3)      If you are going to a small town, and you have a host family, and you are working and receiving salary. PLEASE, don’t waste your money. Start to save some of your salary from the first salary that you received. PLEASE. This is the stupidest mistake that I had done. The first few months when I was in Brazil, I wasted my salary, never save any money. Stupid stupid. My host family is awesome, they are so nice. They provided me, free food, free everything. Basically I don’t even have to spend my salary on anything. But I wasted all my money. I never saved any money in my life, when I was living in Malaysia I can`t even save RM50 per month, and I received around RM1500 from my parents every month. I don’t know where my money goes, but I never save any money. Therefore, it`s not surprising that when I came to Brazil, I used my money like how I had been using it in Malaysia. WASTING it. But, in the middle of my internship I started to realize that I should travel to other South America countries, since I am already in South America. And I also realize that I can actually save half of my salary every month, and it will be enough for me to travel anywhere I want to, and even I can bring some of the money back to Malaysia. But it was too late for me. At the end of my internship I couldn’t save a lot of money, I was barely surviving and keep on having money problems. So please, organize your money properly, don’t waste your money especially if you live in a place where you don’t even have to use your money. Don`t shop a lot of clothes. You can buy clothes or handbags in your own country. If you want to use your money, use it to TRAVEL. Trust me on that.






4)      If you are going to a country where the population of people who speaks English is really low, please, don’t be lazy like me, and learn a few basic words of their native language before you come to the country. But, In my case, I had only like a month to prepare myself to go to Brazil, therefore the only Portuguese words I know is `ola`. And when I arrived at the airport, I almost die because nobody can speak English, even at the international Sao Paulo Airport, and I was running here and there, trying to get any information all by myself. It was difficult, but I survived. And the first few months, it was difficult to make new friends, because they are interested to know you but you can`t communicate. The easiest way to make friends is when you learn the language. So please, learn the language. At least some basic, so you wouldn’t be too surprised with the language differences.







5)      When you are an intern, you will meet other interns, from all over the world. From what I have observed, don’t try to push them to know your culture too much. What I mean is, obviously, you have to exchange the culture differences, but not to the extent of making them feel annoyed. Because you are here in a new country together to learn a new different culture, they know you are Asian, great. They want to know how you speak in your native language, great, but at some point you have to know when to stop introducing and talking about your culture and start accepting the new culture.






6)      When you want to start a conversation or ice breaking with other interns, you are tend to speak about what you have read in the internet or what you saw in the television about their countries. But one thing you need to know, MEDIA LIES like 80% of the time. They love to feed the people with stereotypes, or negatives issues of a country or society, close example Muslim = Terrorist. Asian = we eat dogs, cats, snakes, insects. Colombian = Drug dealer. Mexican = Poor and immigrants. Guatemala= Poor and dangerous. Brazil =Football ,slums and  Violence. Guess what, not all Muslim are terrorist, most Asian people don’t eat dogs, cats, snakes, insects or human. Almost all my Colombian friends, don’t even smoke weed or cigarettes, and apparently, Colombian people are so friendly and always make you feel safe to be with them, and it’s a beautiful beautiful beautiful country. Not all Mexican are immigrants, not all Guatemalan are poor and the country is amazing with very smart intelligence people. Not all Brazilian loves football, in fact, most of my Brazilian friends, don’t give a shit about football. And even when I went to the big city Rio, the people were so nice to me, they were helpful and lovely. ( Rio is the best cities I have ever been in my life, and I have been travelling to a lot of countries, even Amsterdam. And Rio beats everything)
I made a silly mistake when I first approached my Colombian friends (we are as close as brothers now) I started the conversation by asking them about what I saw in a documentary about the kidnapping of a politician by the guerrilla army. And I started to ask them about the problems with the guerrilla and stuff. I didn’t mean any harm, I just wanted to start a conversation but when I think back, what I did was rude because it shows how extremely stupid I was, and it also shows that I have the typical stereotype syndrome. And it isn’t nice to approach them with something negative about their country. As we become friends, I started to realize how amazing the country is, how wonderful the people are and Colombia is one if the country that I will have to visit before I die. To my lovely Colombian friends, you know who you are, if you are reading this, Im sorry for being insensitive the first time we met, and I love you guys.heeee. Therefore if you want to start a conversation with the interns from other countries, start with whatever positive thing that you have heard about the country not the negatives things, no matter how interesting the topics are.





7)      Having a good relationship with the other interns probably one of the most important things ever in your exchange. Because they will be your second family, they will be the ones you go to when you are down, they will be the ones you share your happiness with, they will be the ones you want to travel with and many more. My crazy multi culture interns family, are probably the most important persons in my exchange. I couldn’t survive this exchange without them. We need each other, no interns left behind, we always hold on to that. We have travelled together, we parties together, and we cried together, the relationship was amazing. One big advice, YOU need to approach the other interns, don’t just wait, you need to make an effort to know them, to visit them, to spend time with them. What I did once is, I just contacted one of the interns in FB, and said to him that `hey, I wanted to know you guys, im coming to the city to meet other interns, can you help me out?’ and the guy replied me right away, and help me to find me a host for me to stay in the city, picked me up at the bus station, introduced me to the other interns, and all of us became friends right away. Therefore, when you go for an exchange, sometimes you got sent to a big city, with more interns, sometimes you got sent to a small town, with just one other intern, or just by yourself. Therefore, YOU need to do the effort to join them, to know other interns, to be part of them. Be active, talk to them, introduce yourself, say to them you want to know them. Don’t wait for people to invite you, they won`t. As sad as it will sound, YOU need to invite yourself. But trust me, it`s worth it. I am currently dating one of the interns after I contacted them to join them. If I didn’t make an effort to join their activities, I wouldn’t meet my BF. If I didn’t meet my BF, my internship experience would be less meaningful and less beautiful : )





8)      If you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend back at home before you are going to your internship. Break up please. It won`t work. Trust me. One person will end up cheating. If not you, maybe your partner back at home. Or even if none of you cheats, you will lie in some way. If you don’t believe me ok. Just see for yourself. If you are going for an exchange less than 6 months, it is still possible not to break up but trust me you will lie a lot to your partner. JUST TRUST ME ON THAT. But if you are going for an exchange more than 6 months, break up please. It’s a hard choice. I am lucky because my ex bf cheated and dumped me the first week I arrived in Brazil. And I thanked god that happened, because I know my experience in Brazil wouldn’t have been so much fun if I was still with him. I will feel guilty, and we will fight a lot, and he will tell me not to do this and that, it`s too annoying, too difficult to handle. So, it is up to you. Im just telling you the ugly truth.





9)      Be brave to travel. Please. Like I said before. Spend all the money you have to travel to other cities, other states and other places. Don’t use your money to shop or to buy tons of sorvenirs. Use your money to travel. And don’t be scared to take a bus, a flight, a train by yourself. But, noted that you must always be aware of your safety, but be open minded as well. Travel smart. That is why I mentioned it is important to be closed to other interns, because you can plan to travel together. When they invited you to go anywhere, just go. You will become close when you start to travel together. I travelled to a lot of places in Brazil and my Portuguese isn’t good at all. But thankfully I have friends who speak Portuguese and we travelled together, but even if I have to travel alone, I know I can survive even with the language barrier because it isn’t as difficult as you thought it would be. Trust me. Travel at least once a month. Go out.





10)   Last but not least, be positive towards everything. I need to warn you, you will have your down black miserable moments during your exchange. And you will encounter many problems, A LOT OF PROBLEMS. Sometimes the problems will come one by one and you will be at the point where you just want to give up and return home. Especially when you do an exchange more than 6 months. Troubles and problems will find you, and you will know how strong you are at the moment. But one advice from me. No matter how badly you were beaten by the troubles and the problems, please, don’t let it ruin your whole exchange. Cry for one day or two, and then wake up, get up and smile. If you make a mistake, which you will, don’t punish yourself for too long, wake up and fix them, and try to be better. Be positive, be happy. Remember, this is one in a lifetime experience, don’t let some problems no matter how big they are to ruin your exchange experience. You need to be positive. No matter how hard, you need to be positive because at the end of the day, every problems can be solves. One last advice, don’t ever show to your family that you are sad, or miserable or you aren’t doing well, unless it is something too serious. Don’t cry every time you talk or Skype with them. Don’t complain too much. Not to them. They are far from you, they might worried to death about your well-being , so don’t make things worse by showing them that you aren’t happy, because they cannot do anything anyway, you just caused them pain and worry. No matter how sad you are, every time you talk with them, laugh, be happy and show to them that you are ok.

Last words from me; live your exchange. Go beyond the limit. Challenge yourself. Remember, every problem has a solution. Make friends. Fall in love. Eat a lot. Travel a lot. Be extrovert but not annoying. Be nice to people. Be happy. Be positive. Don’t judge, don’t stereotype people. Be yourself, and enjoy your exchange. : )



Thursday, 4 July 2013

Journey Back Home. The Past, The Present, The Future.



Its crazy. August is coming. And this life, the life I have known for almost 1 year, my new routine, my new culture, my new music, my new food, my new habits, my new family, my new friends, my new ME, will have to stop. I honestly feel, scared .. yes .. that`s the word. Fear,  scared. No offence, I don’t really miss anyone in Malaysia.  I was born in a family who my parents, have been travelling and living abroad here and there since I was born, same goes to my siblings. I mean it`s almost impossible to have all 7 of us (including my parents) together for a picture. I left home when I was 18, and even when I was living at home, it was only me and my parents, my siblings were out, far, studying, exploring their life. So, like I said, being away from my family, is not a huge problem for me. Regardless they are always there for me, my sisters, my brothers, my mom and my dad. Regardless the time difference, I know I can talk to them at any time, god bless you technology.


And my friends back in Malaysia? Do I miss them? Yes. I miss my super nerdy boring retarded life in UTM. Surprisingly, after travelling the other side of the world, living in a country where it was known for crazy parties, fun people, fun EVERYTHING, I still miss my deadly boring routine as a university student with all the nerdy people there. I miss my routine when I was there. I miss my roommate. I miss my life with her, I miss her the most. I honestly said, one thing that broke my heart the most is to know that I can never have that sort of life that I used to have with her anymore. She is happily married, has a cutest most adorable son, and another one is coming in October. And of course she can`t be there for me anymore if I`m bored at midnight, and feeling like eating something or lepaking at mamak. She is the best company I ever have. She truly is : )


I miss the time when I was in love with my ex. The relationship was a disaster of course, we were too young, too immature, too naïve, too dumb, but I was so crazily in love with the guy. Haha. its ridiculous sometimes to think how I can loved someone that much! I was such a psycho girlfriend, I even laugh at myself now. Yup, the relationship was a DISASTER. I don’t know about him, but for me, we had fun together. We didn’t do a lot of romantic things together, he was such a pain in the ass when it comes to being romantic. But to me he was funny as hell. And he did know how to make me laugh. And I miss our boring routine being a couple and studying in the same university. Trying to find any free time just to see each other, then we ended up fighting. I was so excited every time a new movie comes out, because I can watch the movie with him in the cinema (we were obsess about watching movies), then we fought, nothing much, our relationship basically consist of eating, fighting, watching movies, fighting, shopping, fighting, celebrating birthdays, then fighting, wishing each other good luck for exams, futsal tournaments, organizing events, war with the thesis, wishing each other good morning and good night. Basically, that was it. It was probably, the most ridiculously boring relationship ever, and this guy was such an ass he refused to do fun things with me, instead he prefer to do it with his friends example to travel and stuff. Hahaha. What an ass. But, it was fun for me. Really. Cheers to that. It must be fun because I did stay with the guy for 4 years, after he dumped me for another girl the first week I arrived in Brazil. Really people, he could be the WORST bf you can ever imagine, but after living half across the world from Malaysia, and even having a new Chilean bf who by far the BEST bf you can ever imagine, that disaster relationship that I had with him for four years, that boring, relationship, is one of the thing I miss the most, not because of love, we both have moved on,  we are friends, and we can even laugh about those time,  I just simply missed those moment because they were huge important parts of my life, and they taught me a lot. So to my ex, cheers to that. And please, when you have a new gf, stop being an ass.





(I don`t have any picture with my ex. so let`s just pretend i dated all these guys. HAHAHAH)

Scared. I know things will change once I get back. That friend who I used to talk about how shitty our boyfriends are, now she is getting married. That friend who used to say `no one will marry me’, now is 2 months pregnant, with a lovely husband. That friend who I can always call to go eat at mamak is getting engage, that friend who I used to smoke weed with, well..i think she is still high. Haha. Jokes aside. And every day more friends are getting engage, married and pregnant. And here I am, having to start my life all over again in Malaysia. Abah is `trying` to make me do my Master in UMK so he can send me to overseas. And doesn’t stop talking about it. Stress. I haven’t even started my Master yet, he has already started to talk about me having a stable permanent job so he can buy me a house (I think that is his tricks to make sure that I will settle down in Malaysia, because he knows, his youngest daughter is weird as hell, stubborn, and she can just disappear). Abah always want to plan everything about my life. Umi keeps on asking me

`When are you going to have a stable boyfriend? `

`Pray pray pray for a good husband. A good husband is the most important thing in life.`

`Husband husband husband!!!!!`

 I have come to that age, when all I can hear is `husband husband HUSBAND`.
Now, the problem is, I have changed. Finding a future husband is not my main priority now, getting a stable permanent job isn’t what I am looking for now. I know I can offer more than settling down in Malaysia. You know what I really want to do? I want to be an English teacher in poor parts of Africa, Russia, South America, India,Pakistan or doing charity work somewhere, volunteers, helping children to learn ABC. I want to teach them that education is better than selling drugs. Dancing samba or salsa with them, work in the slums, care for the orphans. Play football with them. Show them love. But why overseas? I can simply do these in Malaysia. Why not do it in Malaysia? Why? Because I have the advantage of going out of Malaysia, I can handle culture differences which are not easy to adapt for most people, I can travel, I have the mental ability to be thousands miles away from my family and my culture for a long time, totally ALONE, and be just fine. I have the physical ability to run, walk, help, work. I have the stomach of a monster I can eat any kind of food. I have the money..no..wait..my abah has the money. But he is supportive!hahaha..  Therefore I should go, people like me should go. I know I am much more than what my parents think of me. 

I know I know.. I never have any objection about our culture, which normally requires the woman to find a good husband, be a good wife and a good mother. I know.  Its great. If it happens to me by god’s willing, alhamdullilah, I won`t reject that. But for now, after meeting so many different people from all over the world, learning about culture differences, and for the first time, killing the stereotypes sickness that I have in me, I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND MY SELF.

People, the world is SO FUCKING HUGEEEE. Visiting new culture is not the same as living with the culture. I had never in my life live with a different culture from my Malay culture. Never in my life I am isolated from my own culture, totally, isolated, the one and only MALAY, the one and only MUSLIM. I have visited a lot of countries , a lot of cultures, but never lived in one, until Brazil comes in the picture. Brazil, you have been giving me a lot of crazily amazingly ridiculously sweet memories. The people, the music, the culture, the food, and the life. And I have to go home now. Thank you. I arrived to Brazil as an insecure, low self esteem, naïve girl, and I will return to Malaysia feeling beautiful, strong and complete. Yes, I am scared to return to Malaysia, but hey, who doesn’t like another life adventure ;)